My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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