Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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