You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
