RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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