RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She bit a glass in half.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
