Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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