He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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