It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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