i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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