You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
