i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10