handjob tips. give me some.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.