Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??