absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.