i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just google imaged poop.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
