Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The air was thick with penises
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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