You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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