hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
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I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
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Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize