Im at strip club and am horny
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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