Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize