Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
third nipple confirmed
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's shark week go big or go home
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
