Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
