How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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