im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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