we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
