Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
