idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Nicole vs. Life
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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