I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I faked an abortion last night.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
