Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
