shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
