Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So vagazzling was a success
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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