Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
