and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
