I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize