Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize