tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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