How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
