Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
