i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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