i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
