he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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