whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
