dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
