omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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