i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
