ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm at about main and main street
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
