Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
