OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
