loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
