Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
