It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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