suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
