people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
