I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Randomize
