I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
