ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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