overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
