hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
