Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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