guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
