i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
