my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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