"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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